Day 5

Day 5 and I finally had this conversation with someone out loud. I'm going to feel so far removed from this when we speak to each other again on the 10th. We still have a ways to go. This is just a continuation of my perception of time in life going very slowly. I just want us both to live our lives. I want whatever is best for her and whatever is best for me. If that means she has to stay with her boyfriend, then so be it. I don't necessarily believe in fate, but I stand by the fact that there are forces in the universe out of my control and certainly beyond any of our understanding. So maybe we'll reconnect with each other in the future after my stint in Nashville. That may be over next August. Or I'll be here for years. I don't know. I think us talking all the time could either be dangerous if she's still in a relationship. I'm not going to re-read all of the shit I've written until this is all over, so I'll probably be rehashing a lot of the same shit and maybe inadvertently some development will come of this. I don't know if it's this fucking weather, but I think there's a possibility that since we're physically so far apart that if we kept talking and she wasn't in a relationship, things could be okay.