If you recall, I wasn't particularly happy at school last year. Not having friends around me, but a never ending ability to purchase drugs is apparently bad for my mental stability. Nonsense, right? So towards the end of last year, amongst all the drugs and the not having friends, I managed to make a new friend with someone I had known all year and sort of thought negatively of. I had an Oral Communication class with this girl and we were the two theatre students in the class so we did very well with very little effort. Prior to us really speaking more than a few sentences to each other I thought that she was just another one of those silly bitches who was remarkably unintelligent and was just good at theatre. Regarding the former, boy was I wrong. The final assignment for this class was to develop and present an 8-minute persuasive speech, on which I attempted to persuade the class that secularity in public education and formative development, basically in all general aspects of life, should be the goal of an idealized society. I need to back up for a second. I knew this girl from the first day of classes. We were both theatre majors so I saw her more or less every single morning. So, to the assignment: we both had been neglecting working on the speech so both of us were in the classroom the night before it was to be presented. What happens next is nearly impossible to explain in depth because it is, in my mind, something of a phenomenon. Simply, we just clicked. There are some people, that for whatever reason, I get along with extremely well and am able to maintain a constant and immediate repartee. It was perfect. At one point she called her boyfriend and told him to bring her chips and salsa from a drawer in her room, placing 100% of the responsibility of obtaining food onto him. Eventually he showed up in the room delivering her her food and having a quick chat with the two of us. The best part about this (and it is important that I tell you this otherwise the last several lines were pointless) is that this dude had directed me a few months prior and we get along swimmingly, so he didn't at all mind that I was spending hours of alone time with his lady, especially given the platonic setting. That's that, though. Moving on. After that night, we spent a surprising amount of late night time hanging out and having surprisingly intimate talks about how we perceived ourselves and how we thought about others, music that we enjoy, etc. Among this short period of time we even, while talking and walking around the remarkably small campus, decided that we would go out onto the roof of one of the main buildings. It was awesome. We lodged open the window and broke down the screen. This was obviously highly against some kind of rules, but the idea was much too appealing to not follow through with. It was just true and honest friendship. We went from not really giving a shit about each other, to becoming unprecedentedly good friends. All of this happened in a two week period of time, mind you. When I had to say goodbye to her it was devastating because we talked a lot about how we were likely not going to see each other for a very long time. We even, very sadly, said goodbye to each other and then ran into each other later that day and we almost became teary eyed.
Two weeks pass.
We become friends, or whatever it is, on Skype and have a conversation for two hours via the chat feature. Throughout this conversation we had been casually talking about sex which eventually led to the both of us admitting, rather candidly, how much one desired the other sexually and that if we had just fucked each other we wouldn't be having all of these emotional issues. Finding out this information mere weeks after we became very good friends, in light of the fact that we won't be seeing each other for months, maybe years, was very unfortunate, to put it lightly.
Eight months pass.
During this time we would text the other about once every month or two. These conversations never lasted more than a few hours. Last night I texted her telling her how shitty is was that those two weeks were like bliss and that we haven't seen each other since then and that I wish I could go to Winona to see the show that she is in, but the Amtrak tickets are too much money. I also told her that I missed her, and that was all. A few hours later she shares a few things with me. She told me that my message made her smile, that she wishes she would've broken up with her boyfriend because she wouldn't then still have incomplete feelings for me, and that she might be in town on Friday, which is a day and a half from now. I questioningly responded to her comment about having incomplete feelings for me and she said that she felt completely herself with me, that she could tell me anything, and that people like that don't come around too often. I wholeheartedly reciprocated and that is as far as that conversation has gone. I am wildly curious as to what is going to happen in the coming days. I've been wanting desperately to write about this all day. I feel better. I'm not going to be able to focus on anything until she shows up, if she even does. Though, I wasn't focusing on anything anyway. I take solace that whatever happens, it'll be good to see her. Writing about something that isn't super depressing and self-loathing is a nice change of pace. Tune in next week when I return to moaning about life's woes and sadnesses.
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