Brain Orgasm

All of these sounds created together, seamlessly makes me glad to be alive. If this music were a tangible female being, I would have sex with her. It's probably one of the most brain-melting beautiful sounds, ever.

It's: In B flat

Or lack of...

I've seen a lot of sleep related posts recently so I will do one. Yes, that's right: Because everyone else is doing it. Give into peer (and self!) pressure kids, it's fun.

How are all of you people having such messed up, vivid dreams where you can smell things and remember the touch of things? I haven't had a dream like that for many months. I can't even remember the last time I had an intensely insightful vivid dream.


My nights usually consist of catching up on new TV shows on hulu or watching a movie or essentially doing absolutely nothing until 1 in the morning and then deciding to think about doing my homework.

Homework.

I'm pretty organized. I have my whole homework schedule mapped out for each day when I get in any number of friends' cars to go home for the day. I have fully motivated to do my homework when BAM!! the windows roll down, wind flows through my hair, the sun blinds my eyes and comfortable conversations begin and end with a opening/closing the door joke. I get inside and turn on the oven or make myself something to eat (since I don't eat lunch, obviously) and open up my computer to the beautiful mac turn-on noise and let myself sink into my own self-loathing abyss. Before I know it its dinner time which flies by because I'm never involved in the conversation besides my few two-cents worth sarcastic remark. Back upstairs, onto my bed and back into the show. Once again before I know it It's Late Night With Jimmy Fallon! and then it's 12:30am. Should I do my homework that I wanted (literally) so much to do at 2:46pm? No. I think I'll just watch a quick 21 minute episode of something from the Thursday night lineup on hulu and then go to sleep at sometime between 11 and 1 each night only to wake up at 4:00, 5:00, 5:30 and finally 6:00. I don't just coincidentally wake up at those times, I set alarms for those times because then I am more inclined to actually wake up when 6:00 rolls around after a long(actually short), sweaty (rolling around from strenuous dreams that i don't remember) night. This is actually becoming more and more unnecessary. Not because I am finally realizing a healthier alternative HA don't be silly. no. It's because it's getting brighter earlier and when i see that it is light outside it makes it easier to wake up because when it is dark i just want to fall asleep during those 10 paces to the bathroom.



I do find it interesting that in order to reach that stage of subconscious enlightenment you have to clear your head of all the thoughts you are about to be reminded about in a subtle more interesting way. This is also why i haven't had one of those dreams in a while because my brain doesn't have time to clear itself. Because what usually occurs is merely 10-20 seconds before i fall asleep I turn my computer off, take a deep breath and essentially pass-the fuck-out.

I tap the ho in the daylight

Unstoppable, Immovable, Chicken and Egg

In the Irresistible force paradox it asks the following question:
What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?
This is commonly rephrased with irresistible being replaced with unstoppable.

This question and other paradoxes are really interesting for the things that make them what they are. There cannot be an unstoppable force AND and immovable object. Given the circumstances and condition of said force and said object neither of them can logically exist in the same universe. Semantically speaking those two phrases mean nothing to each other in the same context. It would be like asking god to exist. or for a triangle to have four sides.

This isn't really a paradox, but the 'Chicken or the Egg' scenario of which came first has a few days ago been logically answered by my physics teacher and i truly believe it to be correct. The egg came first because 1) Creationism isn't real so chickens didn't just start existing. or eggs for that matter. 2) Evolution is real. 3) Due to evolution two things that were practically two genes away from being genetically identical to what we now call chickens, had sex and created a chicken egg. Plus you can always say that it doesn't specify which type of egg they are referring to so if it isn't a chicken egg then the question could be which came first: the chicken or the dinosaur egg?

I was going to go on and on about paradoxes but it would be easier, considering my readers, to just go to the list of them. I recommend taking a look at the logic, probability, and physical paradox sections.

Open Letter to the Youth of Our Nation

In a feature article on Hunter S. Thomson, Rolling Stone compiled a series of interviews of friends, peers, colleagues, etc. This is from Rolling Stone November 2007 issue that I've been waiting to look at for months of it sitting in a container over the pacific. Enjoy.

Hunter wrote a third-prize essay for the Athenaeum Spectator called "Open Letter to the Youth of Our Nation", which began, "Young people of America, awake from your slumber of indolence and harken to the call of the future! Do you realise that you are rapidly becoming a doomed generation? ... O ignorant youth, the world is not a joyous place. The time has come for you to dispense with the frivolous pleases of childhood and get down to honest toil until you are sixty-five. Then and only then can you relax and collect your Social Security and live happily until the time of your death." He signed it, "Fearfully and disgustedly yours, John J. Righteous-Hypocrite."

The Mess of the Masses

Have you ever seen 'When Harry Met Sally'? It's amazing and it raises a very important yet often disregarded issue. See, I have an extremely difficult issue being friends with girls because of this movie. Why? Follow along: Men and Women can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. If you are female and you think you have male friends who you don't have sexual relationships with, you don't. You only think that you do. To be clear I am not saying that unbeknownst to you, you are having sex with these guys, they just WANT to have sex with you. I know this because, since men are all similar and so easy to generalize in certain areas I am totally comfortable saying that, men cannot be friends with a woman he finds attractive because he will always want to have sex with her. I nothing against unattractive women either because when it comes down to it, we pretty much want to have sex with you too, maybe not a relationship but the point is still there. O and girls, don't think this doesn't apply to the 'friends' YOU don't want to have sex with because we already want to have sex with you and the friendship is ultimately doomed.

Now in relation to me and the reason I started writing this post in the first place may not even correlate but we shall see.

The problem I have with the ladies is a few things, of which i will probably only mention two:

1) I like girls that I know I can't have. Sometimes this means girls that are far more attractive than me and sometimes this means girls who have boyfriends. Beware friends. Sometimes even if I am not even that attracted to your girlfriend, I will still flirt with them and be nice to them when you are being noticeably douchey just to see what happens.

I'm keeping this brief

2) I tend to like girls for a long amount of time. During the long amount of time i will usually like someone else as well but when that doesn't work out I always fall back to the unfortunate. Example: I have liked the same girl on and off for about 6 years. Though keep in mind we met when I was around 10 or 11. Adorable? Sure. Romantic? Doubt it. Pathetic? Shameful? Ridonkulous? Yes.

This doesn't mean that I like every single girl. This also doesn't mean that girls that i have a fleeting thought about I become thereby obsessed with.

Relevant
Irrelevant

B. H. O. II

On an article debating whether or not Obama is the Anti-Christ.

Can Palm Reading Make Less Sense? Yes.

On my way to Hy-Vee after an unnecessarily long Chorus Line rehearsal I had an argument with my Dad. It wasn't so much of an argument because he was doing his typical saying-things-just-to-fuck-with-people-because-he-doesn't-believe-what-he-is-saying-he-just-wants-to-get-them-riled-up shtick. He is very good at making people-I no longer place myself in this category for I have discovered his ways-believe that he is opposed to them just to make them get mad and argue with him for the sole reason of knowing their standpoint on things. A simple "do you believe that..." question would never suffice.

Anywho, I was driving and my Dad said that he had stumbled upon an interesting website explaining the mystics of tarot cards and palm reading along with other such spiritualist conundrums. Upon arriving at this website he found an article explaining palm reading. According to my fuck-with-your-mind father it said that palm reading doesn't tell your future, it tells your past. It serves as a connection to things that happened in your life that you wouldn't otherwise know about if you didn't have a remarkably good memory, or a life.

This little snippet of information was one of the most ridiculous concepts that i have ever heard. It's ridiculous. "Ridiculous," I exclaim! I couldn't even put into words how little sense that makes. Think about it. The lines unlike your fingerprints change as life goes on. This is called growth. Not some weird pre yet somehow not preplanned manipulation of a small portion of my skeleton: number one. Number two: No. Even if number one through a somewhat process of elimination and logic, I refuse to believe that this could even possibly be a thing. Its preposterous. To think that some higher power is hacking into my main frame and telling my body how to grow a certain way so i can find the holy grail of self-discovery is just---------!

A Singular Sensation

I no longer have any problems with saying I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent working on A Chorus Line for Kennedy this past weekend.

At the beginning I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to audition because I knew I wasn't a very good singer even though everyone kept saying how I was in a musical or two at TCR and I did Follies for 3 years to which I would usually respond with something like "I was 12." or "Do you know what puberty does?" Granted, that probably wasn't a totally justified reason. Though slightly humorous I was just constantly deflecting away from what my truthful response would have been, "I know but the thing is is that I haven't sung since then I wouldn't be up to the Happiness (show choir) quality of singing."

As auditions rolled around I continued to remind myself of how much fun musicals are and how much I end up loving them even though I say I'm sick of it. So I did some research. I found out that I wanted to audition for the "main" roll of Zach (I put quote marks around main because though it is told to be the main roll, there really isn't a main roll.) roll because I wouldn't have to do very much singing except for the audition. I auditioned, called back and cast as.....Chorus Member. I thought I had that director/main/"Zach" in the bag. Nope. Thank you Mr. Yuska. I have been working nonstop for that man since the day I met him. Acting class, perspectives, arsenic, 101 Dalmatians (not for him but I'm proving a point so bare with me) and speech.

I might not have expressed my anger about this since as most people will tell you I'm a pretty calm person but a few things do bug me, I just choose not to show it. Because few things are more annoying than a publicly emotional person. Bitching every now and then to someone is fine but letting everyone else about your problems is just pointless. Why? Nobody cares. Not even your friends. You got that, you 14 year old you.

So I was upset. I didn't let everyone know that i was upset and quit and go have angry sex with my attractive, chesty, tiny girlfriend. cough. But who cares? SK is a really cool dude. But no, I kept my anger to myself to be let out at a later date: Right now. What. The. Fuck. Mr. Yuska, I'm basically your bitch. I pretend to respect you and everything. The person you cast for that part doesn't even listen to you, didn't appreciate the role in any way what so ever and actively does things that piss you off. and you knew this going into the auditions, you douchey gay fuck. I really wanted that role and you go and cast me as chorus member. I mean I know I might not what you think is good but come on. Even I would've been a suitable alternative to Caleb. I may not be black but I know the definition of the word enthusiasm.

I digress. Once cast as a chorus member I became instantly cool with being one. I wasn't over the "Zach" thing but content with a chorus member status. I started becoming closer with these people and eventually as i do, I had to ignore them because the people i end up getting close with are actually really weird and fucking annoying but thats another post all together. The thing I like about being in shows and live in general, I don't NEED to be social to be having fun. I was perfectly happy with being by myself singing along with the big kids.

One of the nights after school before we started the important shows we had a little group bonding session which unfortunately didn't both the group, more of a circle to humor Mr. Yuska. As I do, I took it way to seriously. Afterwards I was half hoping that everyone was going to be talking to each other and being nice and wanting my hot body. That was simply not the case. Everything was exactly the same and I still wasn't over the "Zach" thing.

After the shows was probably the worst part of the whole experience. By that I don't mean after A Chorus Line had concluded, I mean after each individual performance. When I'm not a lead and feeling important, It's a horrible feeling. Like I'm unwanted. Not good enough. It's especially bad when some of the people getting positive recognition are younger than you and, quite honestly, less talented than you. This made be extremely happy after that last performance because it was all over and i would never have to see those people again because a lot of them infuriate me. Which is partially why I left the cast party unusually early and why I was on the edge during strike. Its also possible that i was in one of those, I'm bored and you're irritating so I'll fuck with your mind to show you what its like.

To reconnect and make sense of the first sentence of this post I will say this: The real reason I enjoyed the show was because of the way the music and the melody make me feel and what can I say, I just like musicals. seriously.

P.S. I became instantly over the Zach thing the second the last performance ended. I am also not mad about any of those things regarding friends anymore. Yuska is still a jackass though.


To feel.

Movie Previews

First things first, you should check out these trailers since the majority of the pop-culture-America doesn't even know about them, even people who search for them. For Example: I knew about Slumdog Millionaire upwards of one year before it came out. Not to brag, but seriously, don't play this game with me, you won't win.

Every Little Step - April 17, 2009. Yes I know it's out already. but just watch it. O and shut up.
The Brothers Bloom - May 22, 2009. Looks like fun.
Moon - June 12, 2009. I feel like this is going to be one of those "...what the eff...?" kind of movies
500 Days of Summer - June 24, 2009. Zooey Deschanel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - July 15, 2009 - (Insert sufficient adjectives)
Adam - July 29, 2009. I'm a Fox Searchlight fan.
Julie & Julia - August 7, 2009. From the writer of When Harry Met Sally
Paper Heart - August 7, 2009. Staring Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno, Year One) and the stoner girl from Knocked Up. Also, Seth Rogen.
The Boat That Rocked - August 28, 2009. Britain. Nick Frost. Rhys Darby. Rock 'n' Roll.
Alice in Wonderland - March 19, 2010. Tim Burton.
Oceans - April 22, 2010. A little far off, but still.

It's kind of a random assortment of trailers, which is mainly because my original plan was to give you this and then talk about something different but ill just make a different post. so. yeah. That's why i said first things first. FYI: There's no second thing.