"Best Friendship"

I desperately don't want to talk to anyone about this and I'm unnecessarily on the edge for it being 3:47 in the morning. I hope this doesn't last long, but here goes. I think a dramatically important aspect to best-friendship is for there to be mutual love and respect. I think best friends should rarely find it within themselves to be really mad at each other. I consider myself to be a person who has a few best friends, in the sense that I have several people in my life who are in tune with a lot of different facets of who I am as a person and who comfortably understand me, to a greater or lesser extent beyond perfectly. Since I consider this the case, I also think that if and when circumstances present themselves wherein one friend has to tell the other friend how much of an asshole they are being, that should be appropriate. I shouldn't be getting mad at my own "best friend," who rarely listens to what I say unless the time or situation suits him, anyway, but here I am, sitting in my bedroom, wishing I could calm myself down. All I wanted from him was a response. I wanted a lot of other things from him too, but when it really comes down to it, all I wanted was some engagement in a conversation. I want this kid to realize that everything can't always happen on his terms and that some times things need to happen my way, you know, to create the distinction between democracy and fascism. They rarely if ever do, but I feel like give and take should be a fundamental part of any relationship, be it societal, private, public, or what have you. I've had this exact conversation with this kid many times trying to explain to him that I matter in this friendship, but it never really does anything. So. Once I get what I want from him, which is less ideological and more physical (i.e. he has a whole bunch of illegal substances that I've paid for already and thus really would wish to have in my possession), I'm just going to ignore most of what he says. Under regular circumstances I would only propose this idea in theory. The unfortunate nature of this friendship now is that he doesn't really want to listen to what I have to say anyway and he is becoming someone that I no longer see myself as and therefore don't really want to inundate myself with. So. Dude. If you're reading this, just talk to me. That's really all I want. Otherwise, take the next seven days of me being non responsive as an opportunity to go fuck yourself because you truly bum me out. I hope this is read and done so seriously. I'm unhappy about this. I'm in a blissful and peaceful state of mind about every other aspect of my life at the moment, so this bothering me is doing so to an extent I can't honestly deal with at this juncture. Goodnight. Peace.

Update. As per most issues: in the morning when I woke, I was at peace. It will still continue to bother me when it inevitably happens again. But for the moment all is well.