Everything about this summer is turning out to be bitter sweet. As time goes on, more and more things make me excited and upset for summer's arrival and subsequent departure.
I'll explain.
Among the things I'm excited for, here are a number of them: Pitchfork Music Festival, (hopefully, if my parents live up to our agreement) Lollapalooza, Tennis with a friend, Graduating, the end of high school, Jordan Creek with my junior buddy, doing several illegal activities, not having to talk to or see the people I haven't liked since middle school every day, going to college, finding out what's going to happen with certain couples, etc
The things I'm not, in any way, excited about include: Having to drive an hour and a half to hang out with one person, having to drive three and a half hours back to cedar rapids to see another, no more sense of normalcy, having legitimate responsibilities, questioning where important friendships will go, etc.
I'll expand.
The 'finding out what's going to happen with certain couples' may be inappropriately placed. I put it under excited because I am very curious as to how things are going to play out among certain people. There are some couples that I couldn't care less about because they are boring, effect me in no way, and aren't really my close friends. Others on the other hand, two of them in particular which appear to be operating in very different ways. If you are confused, what I mean by '...what's going to happen...' I mean whether they are going to break up and end the friendship entirely, or stay together going to different schools, or break up and still be buds, so on. Unfortunately I fear for the depletion of these people's emotional states depending on the turnout. I'll have to take solace in the fact that I'll be there (emotionally not geographically) to try my best to make it any easier for them if that happens.
The sense of normalcy refers to High School, basically. I have a regular schedule in which I operate. Sleep. School. Homework. Computer. I think everyone knows what I mean. Having school to guide us through our days with predetermined class times. Sure college is still school but from what I've heard its, though probably very well thought out, seemingly unstructured. Summer on the other hand is complete chaos.
By questioning where important friendships will go is already an ever happening thought and occurrence. Some people who I've been friends with, during high school at least, I won't feel very bad if those diminish to nothingness. Some I will try my hardest to make sure they don't continue. Whereas others that I want desperately to continue, are going to be difficult, but I will try my very best to keep 'em going. Because I would hate myself for letting two in particular fall away, if ever so briefly they've existed.
I'll conclude and summarize.
My expectations for this coming summer: Fucking Awesome & Remarkably Unfortunate
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