Ironic Suicide

You know what's funny? Depressed people and medicine (drugs). Not a common topic for comedy but it’s what I want to talk about today. It isn’t even a common topic for discussion which is odd because its happening all the time and should be brought up. Maybe not made fun of but that’s the method I’m going at this.

First of all people who take drugs for depression are ridiculous. Unless you are mentally incapable of being happy, stop taking drugs. And come on, if you are going to take drugs, why would you take something insane like Abilify? Try some weed or get wasted and make a bad decision or just straight up be on acid all the time, which probably wouldn’t help your depression, rather put you into such a confused state death would be the only plausible option.

Digression: OH and that’s the other thing! Death, as an option to solving your life problems. Why? Sure if your dead then you won’t have any problems. And maybe in your mind you will be “going to heaven” but imagination can only take you so far because in the end, you’ll still be dead. I just don’t get it. I have taken a keen interest in trying to understand people, granted I haven’t gotten very far but that’s was college professors are for. I cannot fathom thinking that killing myself would be a good idea. Everyone has those fleeting thoughts of death but most people don’t actually do it. For example: I could jump off of this building I am on top of, but I know I won’t. I could jump in front of this speeding train, but I know I won’t. I could jump off of this bridge into the essentially cement (at that height) like water below to my possible death below, but I know I won’t do it.

Continuing with the drug thing, you’re just stupid. In my opinion you can cure your “depression” with no meds at all. How? With that lumpy, thought-processing thingy in your skull that smart people call a ‘brain’. It’s all up there. With your own free will you can literally become…well…not depressed. I have successfully avoided illnesses because whenever I tell myself that I am going to be fine and that I’m not getting sick, guess what, I don’t get sick. Sometimes people who think that they are prone to illness simply create it in their mind because if you tell yourself you are going to be sick, your brain makes you so.

I would also just like to point out that the people involved in Abilify are stupid and possibly geniuses because they try to kill depressed people. They say that 2 out of 3 people being treated for depression still have depression symptoms. So, there pitch is that if your antidepressant isn’t enough, you should talk to you doctor and get you abilify, because everyone knows that taking a bunch of drugs never ends in an unfavorable way. Never. Not once.