Inadvertent Instigators & Maybe I'm A Turtle

I haven't written in a very long time. I would do a large rambling wrap-up of things that have happened between now and when I wrote on here last, but I rarely even remember what I was thinking about yesterday when I try to actively recall it, so that would be pointless. Thinking always happens best when it's accidental. Thoughts. Thinking. Think. Here's what I think: When I - or anyone, really, but this blog is like a sanctuary for me so I'll be ironically ego-centric in this sentence - speak passionately, emphatically, in a particularly gesticulatory manner (wild words, bitches) about something, it seems inappropriate for the conversation to briskly move on to something else. If someone is speaking almost with no pauses about something they are clearly passionate about, that conversation should clearly be acknowledged. That person doesn't want to be ignored nor do they desire the opportunity to calm down so that you can talk about something else. Clearly what they are talking about was either prompted by something you said, something you're involved or somewhat participating in, or you are someone this person generally wants something of a response from. A vacuous reaction and sense of being essentially ignored makes all of the responders instigators of that individual's passions turning inflammatory. Ask people questions and entertain ideas, its how you should want to behave, otherwise why have friends or interact with anyone?

Something else. I've recently found a new, different girl to satisfy my interminable, oh-she-seems-interesting quota. I'm yet to completely figure out what this girl's deal actually is and I've heard plenty from plenty, but and honest outsiders perspective and pursuit could be just the satisfaction I'm looking for right now. She's all flirty and sexual and beautiful and clearly damaged and people think she is mean and ethnically ambiguous and friendly and there is a slight possibility that she is interested in me. I'm gonna see how slyly I can sneak my way into her mind at least enough to perpetuate the possibility of being interested in me. My ultimately selfish goal would be to enjoy a sexual experience with this girl, but if she let's me in (I mean personally and mentally, but, still: ay-oh) that would be more than fine. She seems like she needs more people in her life that don't purely see her as a sexual object. Let me qualify that: I would absolutely love to explore her body and give her something she may not have experienced before, but I don't just want to get with her and then throw her on the curbside for the day-laborers to collect her for disposal, I want her to want to be around me and submit to a conversation with me outside of pleasantries. I've never seen myself as the kind of guy who walks into a room and girls automatically want to jump my bones. Like many other guys, it takes girls awhile to realize that I could be good for them or that I'm perhaps more attractively than they immediately thought. Maybe I'm foxy. Maybe I'm a dog. Maybe I'm a turtle. I have no honest idea of what any girl really thinks about anything I do, nor have I ever so the struggle continues, but using my apparent indifference and mystique and occasionally coy attitude around women has been wildly successful in the past, so I'm gonna see how far and convoluted I can get with this girl, regardless of which path it goes down. So long as it isn't the road that loops back around to the starting point. Counter-production isn't often what happens, but the possibility still exists. I'll try to let you know what happens in reality. It's been nice talking to you, Me.