Essentially: A Whiny, Bitch Song

It's concerning when you finally reach the point where there are things you can't even talk about on your blog. I seem to have dipped my fingers in everyone's business. So many secrets. So many lies. It makes for an interesting day-to-day. But it also leads to a very self-dependent way of being. Which according to my parents is unhealthy, but I seem to be coping just fine. They're always trying to get me to talk about something in particular, but I never say anything because there is something substantially more important that I would like to talk about, but cannot because it's illegal, or makes me a bad friend or a bad person, or whatever. The worst part about it is, is that people come along who you want to tell everything, but you can't because they are the thing I'm not supposed to be talking about. Fuck. Snow days are awful. They give me too much time by myself. The worst thing is, is that even if I wanted to hire a person to listen to me talk, I would only want the person to be someone I grasp some kind of emotional relationship with thereby making them yet another thing I can't talk about. And, now, I seem like a perfect example of people I don't like. I'm going to talk about things people don't like talking about now!!

I don't believe in god, heaven, hell. I don't believe in doing unto others as I would do unto myself. There are way too many assholes for that to even be kind of a good idea. I used to believe in karma. I don't believe in karma anymore because good people die of disease and assholes innocently kill, etc. People don't get what they deserve, they get what they get. But that's not to say that you can't do something about it. If people aren't getting what they deserve, do something about it.

So back to this secrets and lies thing: If you are almost anyone I've hung out with in the past 3 months, I have something to tell you, but I'm not going to.